Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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