I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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