We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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