Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We just shotgunned beers for America
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
