Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
