One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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