Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize