Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
