That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
