You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize