In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Enjoy the penises
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
