i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I didn't notice because vodka
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
