Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
