Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
