I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
