SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
