I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
