She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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