Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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