i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
