It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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