I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
