She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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