I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
