Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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