I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
