Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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