great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
