Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
