Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
