How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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