Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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