dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
we should paint friendship bongs
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