So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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