he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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