remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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