When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
