I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
