He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
