I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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