I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
