no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
