I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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