Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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