weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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