I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
