So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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