Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best. http://tfl.nu/21y4
  Replies (14) Good night (2506) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay? (724): I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision. http://tfl.nu/lftu
  Replies (32) Good night (1358) Bad night (3612)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife. http://tfl.nu/0n10
  Replies (7) Good night (4656) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home. http://tfl.nu/gpi6
  Replies (32) Good night (8318) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl http://tfl.nu/s3lv
  Replies (7) Good night (3040) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  even the AIR tastes like tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): even the AIR tastes like tequila. http://tfl.nu/sty9
  Replies (4) Good night (3088) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots. http://tfl.nu/qww5
  Replies (2) Good night (1752) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons. http://tfl.nu/2wud
  Replies (4) Good night (1505) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat http://tfl.nu/dy7q
  Replies (3) Good night (1820) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit. http://tfl.nu/5kq2
  Replies (11) Good night (1402) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  What the fuck, why would you ever do that?

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much. (1-250): What the fuck, why would you ever do that? (250): Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball? http://tfl.nu/mk5m
  Replies (4) Good night (1985) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  possibly by boat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him (610): possibly by boat http://tfl.nu/q00b
  Replies (3) Good night (1026) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  How was the party last night?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): How was the party last night? (918): I'm dangerously close to shitting myself. http://tfl.nu/f0x1
  Replies (3) Good night (487) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.

  (206): View more from Washington

  I should have never moved out...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese. (206): I should have never moved out... http://tfl.nu/kyqk
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious http://tfl.nu/21or
  Replies (7) Good night (262) Bad night (677)

Randomize