Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.