You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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