It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
