oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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