Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
