when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
