he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
