Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
