thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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