I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
