NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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