So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
