I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize