do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
