You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
