Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
