YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
