I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
