he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
What drink are we having for lunch?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize