Well apparently he's into motor boating.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
