Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
A+ Viking dick
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
